HE With the Cold Male Protagonist C42

Chapter 42: A Public Confession, Feng Lan’er Disappears

—I’m tired.

Under Jiang Baiye’s nearly aggressive gaze, Lu Lizhi’s breathing slowed, his strokes heavy as he wrote. His heart trembled twice in quick succession.

Jiang Baiye lowered his eyes, hiding his desolation. So he’s discovered my feelings, and wants to push me away like this…?

After a moment’s silence, in the dead stillness, he spoke as if nothing had happened: “Have you found the licentiates to guarantee your county exam yet? I heard you need two?”[¹]

Lu Lizhi hadn’t expected him to suddenly change the subject, but he nodded. In truth, he was still short one. When he had placed first in the prefectural exam, his fame was unmatched, and many licentiates had been eager to associate with him, even offering to guarantee him at the county level.

This was a mandatory step in the imperial examinations, where reputable scholars had to vouch that the candidate was genuine and of clean background. Yet just days ago, he discovered one had gone back on his word, switching to support Jiang Yueming instead.

Another, hearing malicious rumors, had feared for his own reputation and also backed out—without so much as informing him.

It was hard not to suspect foul play.

And indeed, among the mere twenty licentiates in Changlin County, none were willing to guarantee him now. Fortunately, Lu Lizhi had some silver on hand. He found one whose family was gravely ill and desperate for medicine money, paid him twenty taels—ten times the original amount—and signed a contract, resolving the problem for now.

“Then, rest well,” Jiang Baiye said quietly, swiftly gathering up the dishes and cutlery, and all but fleeing the Lu household.

As the sound of his footsteps receded and disappeared, Lu Lizhi’s hand slackened. The brush dropped onto the paper, blotting it with a messy smear of ink.

For a moment, he wished—desperately—to pull him back, to walk together into that sinful…

His fingers clenched the paper. Ink smeared across his pale, almost translucent skin, staining his palm, soaking into his white sleeve.

Tainted. Defiled.

He crouched down, and with trembling hands picked up the cold food he had earlier discarded, forcing it into his mouth. His throat ached so bitterly he felt he might choke out words—words of entreaty, of plea.

Had Jiang Baiye seen, he would have been devastated. That lofty, pure Lu Lizhi was staining and soiling himself in despair.

Jiang Baiye pressed a hand to his chest, breathing deep through the discomfort. Let him rest for now. Once his county exam is over, no matter what he says, no matter how he resists or rejects, I will never give him a chance to push me away again!

Give up? Impossible. He would never even consider it. If need be, he would seize him, lock him away, make him his and his alone.

That very night, Jiang Baiye moved into the workshop, immersing himself with the masters in studying herb processing. His diligence impressed them greatly, though they noticed his furrowed brow never eased, and he often drifted into distracted silences.

Clearly, something weighed on him. It wasn’t small, but they didn’t know how to comfort him, so they simply bombarded him with questions to keep him engaged.

By the time the five masters had mastered most of the processing techniques in the workshop, several days had already passed.

During this time, Feng Lan’er appeared daily. At first, she exchanged a few words with Jiang Baiye. Later, she couldn’t even catch sight of him. Her complexion worsened day by day.

When Wang Yujiao discovered what she was doing, she was horrified. How had she overlooked so many signs? She quickly warned her, “Second Jiang already has someone he likes. Likes very much. He won’t ever like you, Lan’er!”

Feng Lan’er froze as if struck by lightning, drowning in humiliation and loss. “Why—why didn’t you say so earlier? Who is it he likes?”

She wanted to see for herself. Who was it he valued over her?

But Wang Yujiao faltered. Though Da Ning’s laws technically allowed same-sex marriage, in practice, almost no one accepted it.

Seeing her hesitate, Feng Lan’er pressed, “What is it? Is there something strange about the person he likes?”

A dangerous thought flickered in her mind. Perhaps he didn’t truly like them… perhaps that person was gone already.

“No, no—it’s true, he likes someone very much. Just remember that. Don’t throw yourself into the fire pit. He’s good, but not for you.” Wang Yujiao pleaded earnestly.

“Then say who it is! I don’t believe you. Is it someone in Xishui Village? Is there really a girl better than me?” Feng Lan’er’s voice trembled with despair.

“It’s…” Wang Yujiao nearly blurted it out, but she knew Lan’er’s nature. If it was a man, she might not give up. And with Lu Lizhi’s exam near, any scandal could ruin him.

“You—you ask Jiang Baiye yourself. If he’s willing to tell you, then you’ll know.” Wang Yujiao’s face flushed red as she turned away.

But Lan’er misunderstood. Grabbing her cousin’s hand tightly, she demanded, “Cousin… it’s not you, is it?”

“Of course not!”

“But Aunt said he once sent things to your family. It seemed like he liked you…” Lan’er’s voice dripped with accusation, as though blaming her cousin for stealing the limelight.

“You’re talking nonsense!” Wang Yujiao snapped, turning her back, heart in chaos. Should she tell her parents? She feared Lan’er was obsessed and about to cause trouble.

The next dawn, Lan’er went to question Xuanzi. He truly didn’t know, and shrugged. “Ye-ge hasn’t courted any woman. Never showed interest in anyone. Oh, but he’s very close to Scholar Lu. Best friends. Every day he just cooks for him.”

Later, when she managed to corner Jiang Baiye himself, he already suspected the girl’s feelings. But he thought it was little more than pride wounded by rejection.

So he said it plainly: “I do have someone I like. Very, very much.”

Lan’er’s breath hitched. Tears almost spilled. “W-Who is it?”

“Lu Lizhi. Scholar Lu. I admire him. I ache for him. I care for him. My heart is bound to him. This life, I will love only him. I… love him.”

One line after another, his words fell like open flames.

Xuanzi and Fang Li gaped, and the masters nearly stumbled. So that was why he’d been distracted these days. This was no small matter!

Lan’er’s eyes widened, tears burning. Absurd. Laughable. Cruel.

But Jiang Baiye’s eyes looked past her, burning toward the one behind her. From the first word to the last, his gaze had never wavered.

Lu Lizhi, who had just arrived, froze in place. His blood rushed backward, his body trembling.

Excitement, fear, disbelief—or joy so immense it crushed him. He couldn’t tell. His fingers quivered.

Jiang Baiye, having said his piece, looked at him deeply, then strode back into the workshop, unconcerned with anyone else’s judgment.

Later, Lu Lizhi didn’t know how he got home. He remembered only the sincerity and intensity in those words.

Suddenly, everything seemed explained:

The food he forced him to eat. The flowers he carefully picked. The drunken plea for a kiss. The bite-mark on his shoulder. The night he held him tight in bed. The stolen kisses he couldn’t restrain…

Wild yet restrained. Desperate yet gentle.

And himself…

“Lizhi, Lizhi? What did Chang Sui say?” He-shi asked worriedly, seeing his dazed expression.

Only then did Lu Lizhi realize he’d forgotten to tell Jiang Baiye to come home. Since their falling-out, Jiang rarely returned, enough for even his parents to notice.

He had worried too, even felt a secret fear when he’d seen Lan’er beside him, thinking how natural they looked together.

But he hadn’t expected—before everyone—he would say such… shameless words.

Truly, what kind of man was this?

Meanwhile, Jiang Baiye regretted his impatience. Would he frighten him? Cause him trouble?

Yet when he saw the masters’ strange expressions, he pressed on boldly: “Don’t you think he’s dazzlingly beautiful? Isn’t he adorable?”

They had to admit, indeed, he was. Like seeing a rare snow lotus on a high peak. But still…

“He seems quiet, but he’s full of words once you know him. He’s soft, obedient, easy to tease, does whatever he’s told—so easy to bully.”

Half the night, while Jiang Baiye rambled, praising Lu Lizhi endlessly, the masters drifted to sleep thinking: So that’s it. He’s utterly, hopelessly in love.

And oddly, it didn’t seem hard to understand—why one man might love another so deeply.

The next day, all of Xishui Village was thrown into chaos. Not because Jiang Baiye’s confession spread, but because… Feng Lan’er was missing!

Madam Feng barged into the workshop like a madwoman. Xuanzi fell to the ground in fright. “Daheng Mountain—she didn’t go there, did she?”

“What!?” Madam Feng seized him, shrieking. “Where is my daughter? Give her back! Give her back!”

When Jiang Baiye rushed out, she lunged at him, clawing wildly. “It’s you! She came to see you every day. What did you do to her? She never came home last night!”

He caught her wrist, blocking her slap. “If she’s been coming here, you knew. I’ve already told her men and women must keep their distance. I’ve barely spoken with her. Miss Feng doesn’t seem the reckless type. You’d best check her whereabouts carefully.”

But Madam Feng only wailed, raking at him. “They said it! She vanished because of you! My daughter, give me back my Lan’er!”

Unlike He-shi’s loud but harmless fits, Madam Feng was vicious. Her eyes were like daggers, and she broke free to storm inside, smashing things.

“Lan’er! Where are you? Come out! Mother’s here!”

Jiang Baiye’s face darkened. “Stop her.”

Villagers gathered quickly, many had searched all night without success.

“Maybe she hid in the workshop? She was always hanging around here,” someone muttered.

Jiang Baiye’s eyes sharpened on the speaker: Wang Zhi, a man with a gambling habit who had once maligned his family. His mother had excluded him from the workshop, and he had never let it go.

But this time, fewer villagers were swayed. “That workshop is too important. You can’t just barge in!”

“Exactly! What if you break something? Can you afford it?”

“And why would a girl hide here? She’s not dead!”

When Fang Li dragged Madam Feng out, she fought like a demon, ripping out his hair and scratching his face.

“Enough! Do you mean to keep this up forever?” Village head Wang rushed over. “Crying won’t help!”

“My daughter’s been gone all night! Who knows what’s happened to her!”

Many villagers felt sympathy. She was so young, so pretty. Even if she survived, her reputation would be ruined.

The village head, grief-stricken himself, turned to Jiang Baiye. “May we borrow Da Huang?”

Madam Feng clutched her daughter’s clothing tightly, handing it over. Everyone knew Da Huang’s skill at tracking.

Jiang Baiye hesitated. Something wasn’t right. This pattern… familiar. Daheng Mountain. Always Daheng Mountain.

He pulled Xuanzi up. “What about Daheng Mountain?”

“I—I don’t know. She kept asking about it. Over and over. Like she cared a lot. I thought maybe she went there. Only you can go in…” Xuanzi’s voice broke.

The crowd gasped.

“I think I saw a young girl heading that way yesterday,” someone recalled.

Madam Feng nearly collapsed again.

“If you want her alive, shut up!” Jiang Baiye barked, mind racing. “She wouldn’t go in there blindly. Not unless…”

Unless she wanted him to “rescue” her. But even then, she’d know the danger. She wouldn’t leave no word. She was proud, rational.

Which meant—someone else put her there.

The village head paled. “Report it to the magistrate. Send armed officers at once!”

The villagers exchanged uneasy looks. If it had come to this… had she been murdered?

Madam Feng fainted on the spot.

The scene descended into chaos.

The village head glanced at Jiang Baiye with pleading eyes. He suspected a scheme. Both he and Jiang Baiye had offended too many people lately.

And if anything happened to his beloved niece, he would never forgive himself.

Jiang Baiye was silent. She was likely in that mountain. And this was aimed at him. If he stayed out, his bond with the village head would shatter. If he went in, there might be a trap.

No time to lose. Messengers were sent to the county yamen, but few officers would risk Daheng Mountain. The job would fall back to him.

The head also sought local hunters, even those he’d once quarreled with. Heavy rewards were promised.

Sighing, Jiang Baiye went home.

Lu Lizhi was just stepping out to wash clothes when a strong arm dragged him back, crushing him in an embrace, holding him as if to fuse their bones together—

—and kissed him hard.

Teeth, tongue, lips—hot, rough, demanding.

“Mm…” The bucket fell, dirty clothes scattering. Lu Lizhi was dazed, dizzy, drunk on the taste.

Then, just as he parted his lips—Jiang Baiye stopped.

Breath harsh, voice hoarse, he smiled like a cat that had stolen cream. “When I return, I’ll kiss you until I’ve had my fill!”

He let go and strode off, giving no explanation.

Behind him, He-shi dropped her basin, staring blankly as if in a dream.

But Jiang Baiye had no time for her. Every moment delayed might mean Lan’er’s death. He gathered his gear: bow, claw, knives, fire-starters—even traps and hidden weapons he’d forged for beasts.

Lu Lizhi and He-shi watched him leave, fear gnawing their hearts.

Soon enough, word of the missing girl reached them. Lu Lizhi, quick-minded, instantly deduced: this was a plot. And Jiang Baiye was the target.

He rushed out to stop him—only to be blocked by someone returning at just the wrong time.

“Lu Lizhi? And where are you going?” The man smiled easily, pleased.

Jiang. Yue. Ming.

Lu Lizhi’s gaze was icy. He tried to pass without a word.

“She’s already in there. He won’t turn back. The girl went into Daheng Mountain just so he could rescue her. So brave. So moving. Jiang Baiye, as a man, must be touched, mustn’t he?”

Once, Lu Lizhi might have wavered. But now, the tenderness on his swollen lips told him exactly where Jiang Baiye’s heart lay.

Jiang Yueming didn’t understand his calm. Wasn’t he the one entangled with Jiang Baiye?

“That girl is beautiful. Alone with him… who knows what might happen? Even if they return, it won’t be easy to explain.”

A pang struck Lu Lizhi’s chest. He pictured the scene—and his amber eyes flickered.

He turned back, strode home, and without hesitation changed from his scholar’s robe to a short, plain tunic fit for movement. From beneath his bedding, he drew a sharp dagger…

Author’s Note:
Ahhh, still only half written. Sorry.

Footnotes:
[¹] Licentiate / 廪生 (lǐnshēng): In the Ming–Qing examination system, a 廪生 was a government-supported scholar (stipend student). To sit for the county-level exam (院試), candidates needed guarantors—often licentiates—who vouched for their identity and moral standing. This system prevented imposters or those of dubious background from sneaking into the exams.