Between A and B C1

Chapter 1

Is there any other industry where the saying “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer” fits better than the entertainment industry? Well, sure, there might be. But in my limited experience, few places show such extreme highs and lows like the entertainment world.

Here, even if you cut your sleep short, work hard, practice relentlessly, and dedicate your youth, there is no guarantee of success. There’s no base salary, no minimum wage, no set minimum working hours—it’s truly a lawless wilderness. A place where a raw gem must constantly refine and train itself, needing to hit the jackpot just to barely make a living. And then, to really rise to fame, one has to hit the jackpot once more. Success here demands innate talent, luck, and effort all working together.

That is the entertainment industry.

“…”

Lost in such thoughts, staring intently at the mirror that covers the whole wall, I suddenly felt embarrassed and coughed awkwardly to myself. I might have been overly serious for no reason, but this is the harsh reality. Whether a celebrity—or more specifically, an idol—makes it big or not, is beyond an individual’s control. No matter how much the company pushes you, if you’re not ready or the timing isn’t right, fame is impossible to attain. On the other hand, if everything clicks perfectly like gears meshing, fame can arrive overnight.

Having understood this truth long ago, I knew well that the fact that I—or rather, we—were neither famous nor popular was no one’s fault.

“Hyung, are you achieving enlightenment or something?”
“Enlightenment? Why suddenly enlightenment?”
“No reason, you just looked like the Buddha…”

With my head tilted slightly and eyes closed, I heard whispering beside me. They were whispering, but not like they were trying to hide. Feeling that I might get teased if I stayed lost in thought any longer, I slowly opened my eyes.

“The Buddha’s eyes are open.”
“Don’t call me Buddha, what if I was Christian?”
“Then should I say Jesus?”
“Are you ignoring Catholicism?”
“…”

Three big-bodied guys huddled whispering wasn’t a pleasant sight. I looked at them one by one with a disdainful expression, then sighed and clicked my tongue.

“You sighing, hyung? I guess they heard everything.”
“See, I told you to be quiet.”
“When?”
“Just now. In your head.”
“What are you talking about?”

Whether I sighed or not, Jinhyuk and Yunoel kept exchanging pointless chatter. Kim Kang, who was quietly watching beside me, came over with a puzzled look and asked, “Why are you just staring at the mirror like that?”

“…”

I looked up at the taller Kim Kang and kept silent. Asked like that, I had nothing to say. Usually, if one didn’t say much, they’d just assume the person didn’t want to talk and walk away, but Kim Kang lacked that tact and couldn’t suppress curiosity, so he stood awkwardly waiting.

After a moment’s hesitation, I spoke. “A reflection on the harsh and cold entertainment industry…”

At my serious words, Kim Kang nodded in understanding.

“Have you been drinking?” he asked with a serious look. I sucked in a breath and, as if scolding a dog, called Jinhyuk and Yunoel, who were still babbling nonsense.

“Cut it out and come here.”

The ones who had been bickering approached me. I remained silent and stared at the three of them.

Called like that but with no words, the three looked at me like students waiting for the principal’s speech—with eyes saying ‘Make it short and quick…’

Clearing my throat, I tapped Jinhyuk’s shoulder.

“Alright, let’s start with our leader, Jinhyuk…”

“Hyung, did you go to the hospital yesterday or something?” Jinhyuk asked seriously before I even finished my sentence. Why suddenly a hospital? Puzzled, I looked to Yunoel, who was quietly watching us.

“Isn’t he just asking if you had a health check-up?” Yunoel said.

“Yeah.”

“…?”

Those two seemed to be perfectly in sync, but I still didn’t get why they were asking that. Then Kim Kang poked my elbow and whispered softly.

“Are you feeling sick or something?”

“What?”

“Like when I asked if you were drinking.”

“…”

It finally dawned on me what they meant, but I ignored it and went back to what I wanted to say, tapping Jinhyuk on the shoulder again.

“Don’t starve today either. If someone picks a fight, be sure to call me. And work hard, okay? Don’t go sulking because the schedule got canceled like last time and end up swinging alone at the playground.”

“Why bring that up now?”

“You drank by yourself last time because you were upset, got on the swings, and almost fell backward and hit your head. Why drink at the playground? You’re disturbing the kids.”

“Alright, alright.”

Though his face showed he had more to say, Jinhyuk apparently wanted to end the talk soon, nodding obediently. Seeing that, I also nodded, then tapped Yunoel’s shoulder.

“Our youngest, dance prodigy, Another’s official cutie…”

“Ay, don’t call me a prodigy.” Yunoel smiled awkwardly as if telling me to stop, and Jinhyuk, who was quietly nearby, complained to me with a displeased look.

“Why don’t you say that to me?”

Our leader sure is jealous. Reluctantly, I started to shower Jinhyuk with all sorts of exaggerated compliments.

“A singing genius, magnificent vocal cords, church oppa, reincarnation of a glass bead…”

“What’s with reincarnation of a glass bead?” Yunoel asked before I could answer.

“That means his voice is clear and delicate,” Jinhyuk explained first.

Though I started the compliments, he had no shame saying that himself. Truly shameless.

“Ah, that I admit. A total jade bead.”

“You’re like a dancing machine, too.”

The shameless two praised each other with thumbs up and laughter. Though my stomach felt a bit off, it was much better than them being at odds, so I watched them with a pleased expression.

Suddenly feeling a prickling sensation beside me, I glanced over to find Kim Kang staring straight at me. Seeing the hopeful look in his eyes, I reached out and patted his shoulder.

“Yes, our youngest Popo…”

“Why only me, Popo?”

“Our youngest, Kang.”

“….”

“…our broad-shouldered and reliable Kang…”

Trying to buy time as I ran out of compliments to say, Kim Kang’s expression gradually grew sulky. Then Jinhyuk, watching us, spoke up.

“Our tall as a pole youngest Kang.”

“Right, Another’s official tall Kang.”

I quickly picked up Jinhyuk’s words and repeated them as they were. But silence fell again. Just as cold sweat started to form on my back, Yunoel spoke.

“Hell-chang Kang.”

“Yeah, our tidy Kang who loves working out.”

I softened Yunoel’s words and said it over again, but Kim Kang still looked displeased and sulky.

“Handsome Kang.”

“…”

“Another’s official visual Kang.”

“…”

Adding bit by bit, Kim Kang’s expression miraculously softened. What an easy guy.

Anyway, after calling each of the three again, just as I was about to speak, Jinhyuk looked at me and said,

“Our eldest brother Kang Seoju.”

And as if waiting for this chance, Yunoel followed up,

“Another’s official dad Kang Seoju.”

“My dad isn’t Kang Seoju, it’s Kim Kyung.”

“Why say someone’s real name here? And I just meant in general. Anyway, you say something fast too.”

Kim Kang, clueless, said a word but Yunoel scolded him.

“Why don’t you two just call Seoju hyung by his name?”

“Kang-ah.”

“Huh?”

“I just meant it like that.”

Hearing that, Kim Kang nodded and looked at me. I hadn’t intended to call them one by one to praise each other like this, but somehow it turned out this way.

Actually, I didn’t mean anything grand. I just wanted to say ‘let’s work hard today’… Watching Kim Kang looking like he was contemplating, I was about to tell him to stop but got curious to hear what he would say, so I waited.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

Silence filled the practice room. After much thought, Kim Kang finally broke it.

“Kang Seoju.”

“…”

“Stylish.”

“…”

That bastard…

When I shot him a glare, Kim Kang opened his mouth again with a shameless face as if nothing happened.

“Seoju hyung is stylish.”

“…”

“Another’s official guy who suits his crooked eyes.”

Whether it was an act of deep respect or teasing, I couldn’t tell. Anyway, I ended the suffocating compliment relay and called the guys once again.

“Let’s work hard today. Don’t starve, make sure to eat properly. We all need to eat well to live, got it?”

“Got it.”

“Fighting.”

“Let’s eat well.”

Without anyone telling us, we put our hands together in the center and lowered them at the same time. Someone watching might have thought it was a sporting event.

“Did Jinhyuk say he has a radio today?”
“Yeah, I have to go out now.”
“Yunoel, what about you?”
“Hyung always calls me with ‘-nie’ attached. He calls Tutoo by Jinhyuk, but calls Popo Kang.”

Yunoel looked at me with a dissatisfied face. Before I could answer, Jinhyuk and Kim Kang spoke up.

“Why do you suddenly call him that?”
“Right, Seoksam. Don’t call him Popo, call his name.”
“Ah, really. Don’t call me Seoksam.”
“But you said it first.”

Watching the three arguing, I cut in.

“Stop fighting and go quickly. Jinhyuk has a radio, Yunoel, you’re meeting someone today, right? A friend? Have fun, and Kang, it’s time for your workout. Everyone go. Dismiss. Dismiss.”

Still arguing over Tutoo, Seoksam, Popo, they walked toward the door. Watching their backs, I sighed. As they went out and the door closed, Jinhyuk stuck his face in once more.

“Not going out today?”
“I have nowhere to go.”
“Hyung, make sure to eat. Don’t starve.”
“Alright, just go quickly.”

They each said their part, but I was left alone, so Kim Kang stared blankly at me then said suddenly,

“Won is stylish.”
“…”
“Another’s official…”

Before he finished, the other two dragged Kim Kang out. Once the door closed, the practice room instantly fell quiet.

Staring quietly at my reflection filling the wall, I suddenly remembered the day I debuted. Roughly four years have passed. Has time really gone by so quickly?

Back then, I never thought I’d be able to live this leisurely.

“…”

Yes, I am a fourth-year idol.

Meaning, I am now a failure…