Between A and B C16

Chapter 16

Kang Sumin was the only family I had left. Though to call him family was almost laughable—we had been nothing more than cousins who didn’t even know of each other’s existence until my parents passed away. And yet, in the end, the only person I could point to as family was this degenerate.
“Put out the cigarette.”
“What?”
“I said put it out. Don’t smoke inside the house.”

My head still throbbed, my brow furrowed as I spoke. Sumin snorted.
“I’m smoking in my own house. What the hell does that have to do with you?”
“The security office keeps getting complaints. Just go outside to smoke. Is that so hard?”
“Shit. So now I can’t even smoke in my own house…… Fine, I’ll put it out.”

I hadn’t expected him to listen, but he dropped the half-smoked cigarette into an empty beer can that I hadn’t even noticed before.
“I put it out. Now send me three million won.”
“……”

So that was why. He’d listened because money was the goal. The certainty on his face—that I would hand over the money without question—was so brazen it left me too drained even to feel angry.
“I thought you said you were working? Didn’t you say you’d gotten a spot with one of your friend’s jobs?”
“Hey, fuck. That was just a part-time gig. How am I supposed to work some part-time job at my age? That’s humiliating.”
“So you quit? Didn’t you say you had an interview lined up? You begged me for money to buy clothes for it, remember? What, you quit that too because it was just part-time?”

I asked with a laugh, and Sumin stood, grabbed a can of beer from the fridge, took a swig, and replied,
“I tried it, but it didn’t suit me.”
“What didn’t?”
“I can’t work under anyone. Doesn’t fit my temperament. Doesn’t fit my nature.”
“Is that so.”

I nodded. Sumin drank again, then glanced at me sideways before saying,
“I should just open a shop or something.”
“That wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
“Yeah, with the right location and a little money put into interior design, the cash just rolls in. Nowadays, if you decorate with good vibes and a photo zone, people come even if the food’s bad. You know my friend Hyunseo? He opened a place out in the provinces. Word spread, and now he’s driving a Porsche.”

I kept nodding, but when I checked the time, I knew I had to leave. As I started to move, Sumin blocked my way.
“Don’t you have some savings? We could take a loan to cover the rest. Wouldn’t that work?”
“How do you expect to get a loan? You don’t even have a job.”
“Obviously you’d take it out. How could I? You’re an entertainer. You’ve got name recognition, right? That should make loans easier. So how much do you have? Come on, lay it out.”
“……”

Lay it out? Was he insane?

I stared at him with open contempt, but oblivious, he kept rambling.
“Retired idols open shops all the time. They sell to their fans, take a picture or two, and those fans upload them online—instant advertising. It’s easy money. Just a little effort, and you’d make back your investment quick. Your idol friends could come, eat, post about it, tag it as a hot spot, and it would take off.”

By now, in his head, we were already business partners. If I left him to it, he’d only start building useless fantasies. With a sigh, I spoke.
“Why on earth would I go into business with you? The last time I gave you money was for that interview you were supposed to attend, and that was it. I have no savings, and even if I did, I wouldn’t use them to open a shop with you.”
“Stop lying. Tell me the truth. You’ve got some emergency fund, right?”
“Hyung.”
“Yeah?”

When I called him quietly, he tilted his head back with a smirk. My heart urged me to smash my fist into his face, but I was tired of being entangled with this man.
“I already told you.”
“Told me what?”
“That once you turned thirty, we’d go our own ways. You’re thirty now. It’s time to grow up. I’m saying this because I’m genuinely worried: straighten out your life. Get a job. No one works under others because it suits them. Nobody. People endure jobs they hate because they need to live. Everyone does that. You should too.”
“And I’m telling you, I can’t endure it. Do you think I want to live like this? I can’t do it. That’s why.”

I’d laid it out as plainly as I could, yet he didn’t understand a single word. But the truth was, I didn’t have any obligation to persuade him.

So I only nodded again and said,
“Fine. Then keep on as you are. Don’t work. Sell the apartment, live off that for a while, and when the money runs out, go camp out at Seoul Station. Anyway, I’m leaving. Don’t contact me again. That’s all I came here to say today.”
“Hey, Kang Seoju. You can’t do this to me. Shit, my life’s in ruins because of you. I lost my parents because of you!”

His face twisted darker with every word. When I was young, that rage used to scare me. Now, it only seemed pathetic.
“Your life’s a wreck because you lived it that way. No one else is to blame.”
“You fucking brat. You’re saying it’s my fault? That my parents’ deaths were my fault too? If you hadn’t caused that accident……! Hey! Kang Seoju! Hey! Don’t walk away when I’m talking!”

I didn’t want another word with him. The moment I turned to go, something struck my back and fell to the floor with a clatter. Looking down, I saw the beer can he had stubbed his cigarette in earlier.
“What makes you think you can treat me like this? Now that you’re earning, now that you’re an idol, I don’t even exist to you? Back when Mom and Dad died, you were pale as a ghost, apologizing like your life depended on it, and now? Now you’ve forgotten? Is that it?”

The beer soaking into my back spread, cold and sticky. Sumin loomed, jabbing a finger in my face, spittle flying as the reek of smoke and alcohol mixed into one nauseating stench.

I stripped off my T-shirt, wiped my back roughly, and flung it into his face.
“Fuck! What the hell!”

I wanted to hurl back curses of my own, but I knew if I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. So I turned to the door instead.

As I pulled on my shoes, he started shouting again.
“Hey! If you walk out now, I won’t let it go! I’m not just saying it! Hey! Where the hell are you going, you bastard! At least leave me some money!”

The door slammed behind me with a crash, and outside, a cool breeze brushed against me. In that short time, the stench of smoke clung to me so thickly it made me sick. I wanted nothing more than to shower, so I quickened my steps.

As I left the building’s lobby, I ran into the security guard. His eyes widened, his mouth dropping open, his face filled with alarm.
“……Why don’t you have a shirt on?”
“……”

I had no answer, so I kept silent. Then, cautiously, I asked,
“Do you perhaps have a spare shirt?”
“……”

This time, it was the guard who fell silent.

Thankfully, he gave me a shirt from the security office, and I walked back out wearing it. When I had stripped earlier, all I’d thought of was escaping—I’d nearly gone wandering outside half-naked.

The shirt was hot pink, with the words “Yongari Jjimjilbang” stamped in bold font across both front and back. But it was still far better than walking around bare-chested.

Exhausted, I caught a taxi back to the dorm. The moment I arrived, I scrubbed myself down, washing away the stink of smoke and alcohol, and only then did I feel a little lighter. Too drained to move, I collapsed onto the bed.
“……”

Kang Sumin was no longer part of my life. He could live as he wished, and I would live as I chose.

Because of you, I lost my parents, and my life was ruined.

His words echoed, unbroken, like a hallucination.

And the reason I hadn’t been able to argue back was because, in some part of me, I acknowledged it. If I hadn’t called out that day, maybe my uncle and aunt would still be alive.

For ten years, from the age of five to fifteen, they had raised me. And so, from fifteen to twenty-five, for ten years, I endured Sumin—coming when he called, going when he ordered, handing over money, taking his beatings, listening to his curses, starving when he said starve, leaving when he said leave.

That was the penance I had decided on for myself.
“……Fuck.”

I lay sprawled on the bed, staring at the underside of the upper bunk, then rolled to the side. Burying my face into the blanket, sleep began to pull at me. I knew that if I slept now, I would dream badly. Yet sleep seemed better than staying awake, and so I surrendered to it.