FBPP C22

Chapter 22

[Team] AkashaPhilban (Pierre): I heard our little bro hit level 60 and still can’t even farm a unit on his own, what a useless set of fingers, lol.
[Team] GwangalliIlJjang (Theodore): Equal forces clashing, my ass. Have you lost your mind? This is too much—snap out of it.
[Team] OneStepOutOfBlanket (Notrier): Pierre-chan, the melee buddy is carrying three people’s worth, but if Pierre-chan plays at negative two, what happens then??
[Team] GwangalliIlJjang (Theodore): The ADC is already negative three. Are we just handing over the next teamfight??

Pierre’s ultimate had broad applications. Especially in cases like this, when there was a dumpster-fire ADC, it could be the one last card to call out “one coin!” and swing the fight. But saving the ADC didn’t mean much if the idiot couldn’t do his job and just died anyway. What Jihan meant was: forget about the ADC—use that ultimate on me. Pretend the ADC doesn’t exist. Since Jihan was already acting like the boy head-of-household carrying the load, Pierre should abandon the ADC and tail him instead, protecting him.

And he didn’t mean when he was farming units—he meant during teamfights.

There was no way AkashaPhilban hadn’t understood. He was deliberately screwing Jihan over, dumping a massive pile of shit on the entire team.

[Team] JiniHaniJihani (Artilux): Are you seriously out of your f***ing mind?? Is this game a joke to you, you ***??
[Team] OneStepOutOfBlanket (Notrier): Was it really that hard to use your ult on melee? I get you’re pissed, but remember—we’ve still got two more teammates besides you guys.
[Team] GwangalliIlJjang (Theodore): Damn, Notrier just casually removed the ADC from the team roster, lol.

Ding!

[Team] AkashaPhilban (Pierre): Aw, little bro, the big brother you were so desperately looking for finally came. Why so upset? lol.

Had this bastard adapted already? He’d been treating him like a lunatic and ignoring him in silence, and now suddenly, he changed tactics.

[Team] JiniHaniJihani (Artilux): Bro, I asked you—do you have a dog? LOL. Don’t tell me that sweet little puppy just pressed your keys instead of you.
[Team] AkashaPhilban (Pierre): Nah, little bro, I just forgot it was time to take your meds. Thought something was seriously wrong, lol.
[Team] JiniHaniJihani (Artilux): Bro, I think you’ve got no eyeballs. You’ve died so much you must’ve turned into a skeleton already. Can’t even check the minimap, huh?
[Team] AkashaPhilban (Pierre): Haha, you don’t even understand the heart of your bro, who rushed in without thinking just out of concern. Shows you’re not even human, lol.
[Team] JiniHaniJihani (Artilux): Why do you keep deflecting? In-game, that just means your brainpower’s lacking. LOL.

From then on, for reasons unknown, AkashaPhilban trailed Jihan exclusively. He really gave up on the ADC and followed Jihan everywhere—whether Jihan was farming units, healing inside base, or off assassinating. He lit vision, initiated fights, and never left his side.

[All] WeAreNationAndCountry (Blancier): Damn, a high-tier duo with no conscience. Game’s ruined. We’re opening.
[All] OneStepOutOfBlanket (Notrier): LOL our team chat is legendary right now, both of them are totally insane.

Forfeit votes only became available after all five towers were destroyed and twenty minutes had passed. The enemy still had one tower left, but Jihan was already max level, while the enemy’s damage dealers had barely passed level 30. They stood no chance. So instead of struggling, they’d stay in base and raise the surrender vote the moment that last tower fell.

The truth was, the game could’ve been ended earlier. Several chances had come, but since Jihan and AkashaPhilban were too busy arguing in chat to give orders, the match had been dragged out instead.

The tank line had pinged initiations a few times, but Jihan ignored them and just kept tearing into AkashaPhilban like a mad dog, so they soon gave up. Victory was guaranteed regardless, and they clearly wanted no part in the drama.

WIN!

JiniHaniJihani (Artilux) / 19 kills, 2 deaths, 6 assists / Damage dealt: 121.2k / Damage taken: 41.9k / 1 commendation / MVP
AkashaPhilban (Pierre) / 2 kills, 6 deaths, 21 assists / Damage dealt: 12.1k / Damage taken: 34.4k / 1 commendation

Maybe because they were duo, the points were stingier than usual. Just as Jihan was about to leave for the lobby, his eyes caught on the ADC’s damage stats, and his mouse froze.

DorongTtorong (Leticia) / 1 kill, 10 deaths, 2 assists / Damage dealt: 8.2k / Damage taken: 55.9k

Was this seriously all an ADC could accomplish while five enemy towers were getting destroyed?

Once an ADC passed five deaths, they were trash. From that point onward, even deliberately playing safe wasn’t weird. But this idiot hadn’t even done that.

That they won with an ADC like this was a miracle. If the enemy team had just one high-tier smurf, they’d have been stomped, forced to surrender themselves.

An ADC’s job in lane was to push the tank’s position forward, securing vision advantage; to pressure enemies clinging to their own tank; and to provide cover fire so divers couldn’t collapse on their melee. But this bastard hadn’t done a single one of those things properly.

The reason Seo Jihan’s damage taken was sky-high was entirely because the ADC hadn’t done his job. Jihan had been dashing in and out of death’s door, slashing enemies at 1 HP over and over again.

[Team] JiniHaniJihani (Artilux): DorongTtorong, does that name mean “a dumbass who fell in the ditch”? Damn, good job on the nickname.
[Team] JiniHaniJihani (Artilux): My back is breaking because I’m spoon-feeding rank points to trash like you. Slam your head into the wall and reflect on yourself, idiot.

Jihan didn’t care whether DorongTtorong had left the waiting room or not. After saying what he wanted, he left for the lobby and queued again.

AkashaPhilban has declined to enter.

[Party] JiniHaniJihani: Bro, why?? Scared??
[Party] AkashaPhilban: Why the hell are you even here? What, do you think we’ve got some kind of good chemistry that you’d duo with me?
[Party] JiniHaniJihani: LOL. You’ll duo with some random first-time ADC but not with the carry-machine melee? Bro, you really a masochist freak or what?
[Party] AkashaPhilban: Duoing with you is stress. We’re both suffering, so why volunteer for more?

“Why else, you idiot—because I like pissing you off.”

He’d realized it during the last game. The hits weren’t devastating, but they landed. For just a moment, the impenetrable wall that was AkashaPhilban’s mentality had cracked, proven by that wasted ultimate from Pierre.

[Party] JiniHaniJihani: You don’t even get your little bro just wants to game with you, huh? I said if you don’t like it, leave. Scared??
[Party] AkashaPhilban: What the hell is your problem? How old are you to still act like this?
[Party] JiniHaniJihani: Yeah, I’m 17. High school boy, already served the army, lol.

He was 24 and unserved. And he never would be.

[Party] AkashaPhilban: Your username’s disgusting, and your behavior’s disgusting too, lol.

He hadn’t thought much when making the name. But really, coming from AkashaPhilban? That bastard had no right, when his own name was a built-in provocation.

[Party] JiniHaniJihani: Woof woof! Bark for me, bro. You’re good at barking, right? Crazy dogs are the best barkers.

Waiting for party member’s acceptance.

[Party] AkashaPhilban: Fine, little bro. Let’s see how far you go—I’ll be watching.

You will enter the game shortly. 5, 4…

Player 2: Ah—this match is f***ed.
Player 1: ??
Player 2: Look, HalmiFlower and Thunder are here. Halmi’s streaming right now.

HalmiFlower? Wasn’t that the same bastard who’d been a pain in the ass with Catherine not long ago? The one who, after the game ended and Jihan logged off immediately, spammed his mailbox demanding he reveal his main account?

Player 1: I know Halmi’s Rose’s smurf, but who’s Thunder?
Player 5 (AkashaPhilban): CloudJamie’s smurf.

What? He even watches his streams?

Jihan raised his eyebrows in surprise. CloudJamie? That self-proclaimed “all-rounder” who was actually useless trash? He clung to Diamond 1–Master 4 thanks to duo boosting, but since duos weren’t allowed past Master 3, Jihan only ran into him at the start of the season.

Instead of practicing in training mode like he should, this nutcase had gone and leveled a smurf account. And Jamie’s duo partner used to be someone else—did he switch?

Player 1: Damn, that’s rough. They’re duo??
Player 2: Nah, Halmi sounded surprised too. He was like “Why’s this guy here?”
Player 1: What do we do then?? Two Masters, game’s already busted.

What bullshit. Jamie alone barely scraped Diamond 4 at best. And judging by the current MMR, the lobby was mixed with Diamonds. Jamie was just playing at his real level now.

Player 3 (JiniHaniJihani): Just pick or dodge.
Player 4: If you’re gonna dodge, do it fast. If not, order ramen and lock in.
Player 2: First tank pick, let’s go. Also, melee—what’s your IGN?

This bastard. Always the melee that gets singled out.

So many trash melee players out there that he wanted to check his record before deciding. And since support and melee were queued as duo, he’d check the support’s stats too. Jihan could practically hear the gears turning.

Player 3 (JiniHaniJihani): F***ing JiniHaniJihani.
Player 1: That username looks gay.

Why the hell was it always about names? What, were their usernames so incredible themselves?

Player 4: Dong-i.

Back when he used the handle HanJihanJang, he hadn’t been flamed, but in the early days, he’d gotten ripped apart plenty. People said his name was corny, too emotional, or mocked him for only playing melee as HanJihanJang. No real reason, no logic, just people shooting off at the mouth.

Player 2: Wait, guys, he’s a big name. Every time he locks melee, he’s MVP.
Player 1: Oh right, and the support’s the same guy from last game??
Player 3 (JiniHaniJihani): Yeah.
Player 2: Alright, Player 4, order ramen and get ready to lock. I’m turning off Halmi’s stream.
Player 3 (JiniHaniJihani): Why aren’t you talking s*** about the support’s name?
Player 4: Akasha should just be deleted. Badly designed champ.