Pretending to Be the Lover of an Esper C36

Chapter 36

“You done showering? Took you a while.”
“Soaked in hot water for a bit. What about cleanup?”
“Backup team’s handling it. Says they’re almost done.”

Seongwoo-hyung, now in comfortable clothes and sprawled on the couch, looked far too relaxed for someone who was supposed to be relocating to another regional base by as early as 8 a.m.—or latest tomorrow noon. Not that I was in any better shape.

“What about repairs?”
“Some broken blocks and downed trees, but they’ll be done in a day.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“You too, but especially Esper Lee Taeon—he did a hell of a job. Clean work.”
“Haha… He’s an S-rank. That sort of thing is easy for him.”

The moment Taeon’s name came up, I flinched. Thankfully, Hyung didn’t seem to notice. I shifted naturally into the seat opposite him and handed over the can of juice I’d brought.

“How are things in other places?”
“Not too bad yet. Tomorrow might be a different story.”

I nodded lightly.

After the toxic flyingfish extermination, we’d returned straight to the Songdo base. Cleanup was being handled by the backup team stationed nearby, so at the moment, there was nothing pressing for us to do. The brief report on results and procedure had already been filed by Hyung and Taeon.

Of course, “nothing to do” didn’t mean we could just lounge around forever. As Hyung said—and as I’d mentioned earlier—monsters had begun appearing all across the West Coast in simultaneous waves.

This breathing space would likely last only through tonight. Odd to call that fortunate, but part of me thought it was—it meant I wouldn’t have the time to dwell on certain unwanted feelings with Taeon right there in front of me.

“You’re headed further south, right?”
“Yeah, gotta get to Pyeongtaek.”
“Sounds like a lot of work.”
“You and Esper Lee have it tougher. I’ll be working with a whole team. You two, it’s just the pair of you for now.”

The reminder landed like a stone in my chest—heavy with discomfort. Not at the work itself, but at the thought of being left alone with him.

Pyeongtaek should’ve been handled by us, the Gyeonggi branch team, but after today’s report, the higher-ups abruptly changed assignments—leaving me and, especially, S-rank Taeon here to cover all of Incheon and Ansan. Efficiency, they called it.

“And where is Esper Lee now?”

… I deflected. Even if I couldn’t avoid his name entirely, I could at least steer us away from dwelling on just the two of us being left here.

“Probably showering and resting.”
“Mm-hm…”
“As his partner, shouldn’t you know better than me?”
“Well, maybe. But it’s not like we’re… that close.”

Hyung’s glance lingered on me with quiet suspicion before he shrugged.
“Fair enough. Just… don’t stress too much this time. He doesn’t seem like a bad guy.”
“…I’m fine. It’s just a difference in personalities, that’s all.”

Clearly, he’d been thinking of my previous disaster with Baek Woohyun. Embarrassingly, it showed enough for him to guess instantly. I gave an awkward smile, scratching at my collarbone.

“When did you figure it out?”
“You can just tell. You two aren’t casual like some other pairs—still work together, but with a hard line drawn between you.”

He sipped juice as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. And really, it probably was. He’d seen me through both the Baek Woohyun debacle and my pairing with Taeyoung-hyung.

His thoughtfulness was both welcome and a little bitter. I’d never intended to worry anyone else this much.

“Anyway, I should turn in. Even if we’re set to leave in the morning, could be called out at any time. Best get some rest.”

Crushing his empty can and tossing it into the bin, he stood with a grunt. I watched him for a moment before asking impulsively,
“Want me to guide you?”
“Nah. Not so desperate I need to borrow someone else’s partner. I’ll get guidance once I reach Pyeongtaek if I need it. Didn’t use that much power today anyway.”

I nodded. It had been a half-serious offer at best.

As I leaned back, he clicked his tongue.
“You should get to bed too. Don’t overdo it.”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine. Day went well, you’re safe, so why the long face? Smile. You’ll scare the good vibes away.”

My expression wasn’t because of what he thought—but I didn’t feel like correcting him. Not that he was entirely wrong.

“It’s just how this season is. We’ll be run ragged soon enough. You be careful too, Hyung.”
“Don’t make me repeat myself. Anyway, night.”
“Yeah, rest well and safe travels.”

I waved him off halfheartedly until his footsteps faded completely. The lounge, empty to begin with, felt even lonelier.

Normally, the stillness wouldn’t have bothered me—but tonight it was sharp-edged.

Desolate.

The room, and my headspace, both felt barren. Like a dead end—no way forward.

“No—that’s not true. There is a way out.”

I could reject this. Kill it off now. The fire hadn’t been lit long; snuffing it should be quick, cleaner even than erasing what I’d felt for Taeyoung-hyung.

“…God, what a mess.”

Two doomed crushes in a row, both aimed at blood relatives. If this were a drama, the live comment section would rip me to shreds each episode.

What went wrong? Was my heart just that easy? Was I so starved for affection? Or was it… just his face?

Yeah, all three, probably. The last one should be a mark against him, but what can you say to someone born unfairly perfect? It’s the person who falls for them that ends up wrecked.

Shameless—yes, I knew. But if I’d had any shame to begin with, we wouldn’t be here.

My own self-disgust pressed my face into my hands.
“Haaah…”

The sigh that slipped out was hot enough to burn. My chest ached like I’d swallowed fire.

I knew the truth. The trigger—if I had to name it—was the flawless self-reproach he’d shown me:

‘It was my responsibility to resolve, and I harmed you too, Guide Ji. I’m sorry.’

I’m not saying he’s absolute perfection—but he’s a good man. I’d known that even then.

That knowledge reminded me of my shame… and toppled whatever walls I’d built against him.

“I figured I might get attached to him eventually, but not like this.”

It’s nothing he would have wanted—but hearts are fickle. Sometimes the smallest, simplest acts spark change. Especially in people like me.

And since that day, his slightly softer demeanor… wasn’t without effect either. I still don’t know why he’s been acting that way.

Thinking back on it now does me no good. It only makes me feel smaller. More pathetic.

Muttering to myself, I stretched out along the couch. I didn’t want to go back to the room. Sure, it was smart to sleep early in case of an early call—but he was in that room. Paired teams share quarters.

If only he’d go back to shunning me the way he used to—maybe then it’d be easier to erase this ridiculous awareness.

Hugging the cushion that had been under my back, I closed my eyes. It didn’t help.

‘Perfect timing.’

The smile embedded in my mind kept playing back, burnishing itself in memory until it morphed—transforming the fish-corpses and stench into a warm, sunlit beach.

The sea glittered like gemstones; the sky, impossibly blue.

And his smile… refused to leave.