Pretending to Be the Lover of an Esper C5
by beebeeChapter 5
âYou know that our resonance rate is at eighty-eight percent, right, Ji Yunseong?â
âOf course. Thatâs quite an exceptional figure, isnât it?â
Eighty-eight percent. The average rarely exceeded fifty, and even among pairs who had worked together for ten years, it was uncommon to surpass ninety. Our resonance rate placed us solidly in the upper tierâespecially remarkable considering that we had never met before. Even I, upon first seeing the number, had been so bewildered that I requested confirmation twice.
Moreover, considering the human and material resources normally required to elevate an ordinary teamâs resonance to this degree, it was natural that the Center would have put its full effort into securing the pairingâŠ.
ââŠDonât tell me.â
âAt least youâre not completely oblivious.â
Lee Taeon gave a slight shrug before continuing.
âIf I just wanted to say I dislike you and be done with it, Iâd have met you, thrown water in your face, and left. Truth be told, Iâm not exactly delighted about this pairing either. But if I had to put it precisely, itâs not that I wonât break itâitâs that I canât.â
âHold on, isnât a pairing impossible to formalize if either of the participants rejects it outright?â
âYou think I havenât tried?â
He would haveâof course he wouldâve. His voice grew heavier, and my heart sank with it. It seems ominous intuitions really are seldom wrong.
The source of an Esperâs power was their mental energy, while the role of a guide was to attune to that mind and restore the stamina that was consumed. The resonance rate was a numerical measure of that synchronicity between them.
The resonance rate was directly proportional to guiding efficiency and inversely proportional to the guideâs burden index. It could be raised through mutual training and communication, though that required immense time and effort.
In short, the higher the base resonance, the less cost and effort it took for a pair to reach optimal functionality. With even minimal training, they could achieve maximum efficiencyâa pairing of superb cost-effectiveness.
That said, pairings were only ever formed by mutual consent. There was no coercion; if either party refused, the pairing would be invalidated. Of course, once the team was officially bound, the story changed somewhatâbut still, this was an age that prized human rights and autonomy.
âThat doesnât make sense⊠You really did submit a formal rejection?â
I regretted the reflexive question the instant it left my mouthâbut I couldnât take it back. My cheeks burned.
âWho exactly are you doubting here? Charming. If youâre so convinced, why donât you try rejecting it yourself?â
Sure enough, Lee Taeonâs face hardened with irritation. His glare carried open disdain.
I spoke again, cautiously, trying to gauge his mood.
âIf both of us refuse, they canât possibly overlook the seriousness of the issue⊠right? Iâll call them tomorrow. Iâm sure itâll work out.â
âYou sound rather confident.â
âWell⊠itâs just that continuing to see you every day is a bit⊠uncomfortable.â
âOh, you think it isnât for me?â
He let out a harsh laugh, face twisting faintly. A dull ache tightened in my chest. Frustration and humiliation welled up, yet I had no will to argue.
All I could do was stare down at my feet, fidgeting with my toes like a child. His sharp gaze felt as though it were piercing through the top of my head.
Eventually, it was Taeon who turned his head away. The soft click of his tongue told me he hadnât looked aside to spare meâbut because he was fed up.
âAnyway, Mr. Lee Taeon,â I said politely to his turned back. âThis will be our first and last time meeting, then. Itâs already late, so Iâll stay the night and take care of things tomorrow as I mentioned.â
I grabbed my suitcase, turned, and started toward my room.
âWell, weâll see. Even if you go straight to the Minister, it wonât change a thing.â
A sharp, mocking laugh. Reflexively, I looked back at him. That beautifully handsome face twisted into a crooked smirk. God, he really was too good-looking for his own good. When our eyes met, he waved lightly.
âYouâll see soon enough. As long as you behave admirably, Iâll be more than satisfied, Mr. Ji Yunseong.â
Before I could think of a reply, he had already turned and walked away, his long strides making swift work of the distance.
By the time I recovered enough to speak, he had disappeared behind his door.
âŠIn conclusion, everything Iâd done to annul the pairing was a complete waste, and my naĂŻve hope that I would never have to see that manâs face again ended in ashes.
âGood work, Guide Ji Yunseong.
The Director ended the call with a faint, polite smile in his voice. The glowing phone screen reflected the ruinous twelve minutes and thirty-four seconds that had crushed my final defenses.
âTwelve minutes⊠unbelievable⊠ha.â
It had all started this morning, the day after my lovely first encounter with Lee Taeon. On a precious weekend morning, I had swallowed my embarrassment and called the pairing departmentâonly to be transferred, to my growing horror, directly to the Head of the National Disaster Response Bureau himself.
Was that even allowed? Could a mere guide call and speak to the Bureau Director without prior notice? The moment that question crossed my mind, my unease solidified into certainty. I could still hear Taeonâs voice echoing, saying even a ministry-level appeal would be useless. Clearly, his words had come from experience.
âIâve heard what you had to say, Guide Ji,â the Director had said mildly. âBut giving up before youâve even tried seems a hasty decision, doesnât it?â
âBut, sir, thereâs an old sayingâdonât climb trees you canât reachââ
âLetâs see. Your resonance rate is eighty-eight percent, correct? At that level, Iâd say youâre already near the top of that metaphorical tree. Just a little more effort, hm?â
âDirector⊠with all due respect⊠my compatibility with Esper Lee Taeon is such that, if this were a marriage, it would qualify as grounds for divorce.â
âGuide Ji, you managed to handle difficulties with your previous partner professionally and ended things positively, didnât you? You set a fine example for others.â
âSir! I hesitated to bring up something so personal, but⊠Esper Lee happens to look almost identical to a delinquent who traumatized me when I was youngerâso I have some very unpleasant associationsââ
âYouâre aware thereâs a free counseling center within the department, arenât you? Gyeonggi has some excellent therapists. And if you need more help, we can refer you to an external trauma center. You know what they sayâafter rain, the ground hardens.â
And with that, the exhausting verbal duel ended in my utter defeat. Twelve minutes and thirty-four secondsâit was all it took. A formidable opponent indeed.
Perhaps if Iâd told the full truth, things might have gone differently. But I hadnâtâpartly because I wasnât shameless enough for that, and mostly because I refused to drag Tae-young hyungâs name into this miserable mess.
In the end, the Centerâs stance was simple: they couldnât afford to abandon the jackpot that was our eighty-eight percent resonance.
âAll right, Guide Ji,â the Director had concluded cheerily, âone year. Complete the mandatory one-year partnership, and weâll reassign you afterward.â
That was the only concession I managed to wring out of the call.
Encouraging as it sounded, whether the Directorâor the Center, for that matterâwould still honor that promise a year later was anyoneâs guess. The prospect hung over me like a thundercloud. At this rate, Iâd end up actually visiting that free counseling centerâand soon.
âAh, damn it. Who else can I blame? Itâs my own damn fault for being pathetic.â
I rested my head on the table, watching condensation slide down the glass. My latte, ordered only to wet my throat, was barely touched. My mood was a swamp.
We could have started well, Taeon and I.
With a resonance that high, maybe weâd have actually gotten along. Perhaps he wouldâve reached out to reconcile, suggesting we work together amicably without resentment. Perhaps I wouldâve believed that, finally, Iâd found a partner with whom I could truly belong.
The numbers had fooled me into expecting some kind of grand connectionâa soulmate, a best partner. Such childish optimism.
If only I hadnât ruined everything back then, maybe we really couldâve had that.
âAhhhâŠâ
A groan escaped before I could hold it back, and the sound was embarrassingly loud. The people at the next table shot me a brief, startled glance. My ears burned.
Feigning composure, I straightened my back, scrubbed my face roughly with my hands, and leaned against my chin, gazing out the window.
The weather was disgustingly bright.
Being the weekend, it was perfect for a stroll, butâ
âYouâll see soon enough. As long as you behave admirably, Iâll be more than satisfied, Mr. Ji Yunseong.â
Remembering those words made my chest tighten. I was going to have to see him againâback at the dorm, tonight. And in the days ahead. How was I supposed to perform missions beside him? What expression, what composure was I meant to wear?
Pretending to be professionally cordial with someone you privately despiseâa tolerable evil, but one you never want to repeat. Never again.
But what worried me most wasnât the emotional strain. It was the potential real-life consequencesâostracism, exclusion, those little miseries that make daily life unbearable.
Taeon, if he had any decency, wouldnât sabotage me publicly for personal reasons. But minor disadvantages? Petty retributions? Iâd be naĂŻve not to expect them.
After all, just as Iâd spent years at the Seoul branch, Taeon had been based in Gyeonggi for seven years straight. A long-term veteran like him would have endless ways to make life difficult for a newly arrived outsider.
âMaybe I shouldâve just stayed in Seoul.â
Anyway, Iâd have to talk to him properly tonight. Distasteful or not, we were stuck together for a yearâplease, just one yearâand it would be better to establish boundaries from the start.
Things like physical contactâhugging or hand-holdingâfor guiding purposes needed to be clarified too.
But even as I thought that, the image of myself embracing Lee Taeon or brushing cheeks with him flickered against my mind. My stomach churned violently. Irritation followed right after. My fist slammed the table before I caught myself, trembling with tension.
At times like this, it was best to move around mindlessly, exhaust the body, and drive out unwanted thoughts.
The weather was fine, after allâperhaps Iâd walk slowly through the nearby shops once Iâd calmed myself a little. That wouldnât be so bad.
Forming such a plan, I sank deeper into my chair. The café was filled with gentle background noise; warm sunlight spilled over the table, painting a tranquil scene.
My heart, however, remained heavy.
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